Wedding Hysteria
by DangoCorn
Summary: It's Zoro and Robin's wedding day, but things don't go quite as well as everyone had hoped.


**Helloooo C:!**

**Here, we have a ridiculous one-shot of Zoro and Robin's wedding. May you enjoy it to the fullest!**

_**I don't own the display picture.**_

* * *

On a slightly cool but bright morning, the wedding ceremony of Roronoa Zoro and Nico Robin began. Robin walked towards her soon to be husband, wearing a long, pearl white dress while holding a bouquet of flow-

Nah, that didn't happen. It was a ridiculously hot morning, in fact, and Robin was wearing her usual skirt. Zoro was happily freed of wearing one of Sanji's suits, or so he thought. However, both the navigator and the cook protested, saying the bride and groom were obligated to be fancy on their special day. Luffy, on the other hand, had no idea what the celebration was about, but was content with the fact that they were to have an especially big lunch that day.

The whole thing was quite sudden, actually. The crew wasn't sure how to react when they found out about their plan, minus Luffy, who was completely distracted by a mosquito at the time and didn't pay attention at all to the _big_ news.

It was apparent that everyone _but_ the bride and groom were anxious about the wedding. Robin was casually sitting in the kitchen, sipping her morning coffee and flipping through a book. Nami would barge in on her every few minutes with a different dress. Each time, though, Robin would reject what Nami had to offer. It amused her how nervous everyone was. In the end, the navigator gave up and instead, stood behind Robin and went wild with her hair.

As for Zoro, he was napping on the deck. However, his nap was soon interrupted by an angry cook, a worried sniper, and an excited musician.

"GET UP, YOU SHIT!" Sanji raged. Zoro cracked an eye opened and groaned.

"IT'S YOUR FREAKIN WEDDING DAY YOU CRAPPY EXCUSE OF THE SOON-TO-BE-MY-ROBIN-CHWAN'S-HUSBAND!" The cook yelled, obvious sparks of fire crackling in his eyes. Usopp held up a suit to Zoro's body.

"Whatdya think, Brook?" he asked. Brook cocked his head.

"Ehhh, Zoro-san would surely look good in a suit," he replied with a laugh. Zoro scooted away from the scene.

"Get lost. I'm not wearing that," he broke it to them bluntly, closing his eyes again. Sanji snapped and it took all the strength of both Brook and Usopp to stop him from starting an endless fight with Zoro. With trouble, they led him away.

Franky approached Zoro soon after the scene with Sanji. He let out a cough to get the swordsman's attention before settling beside him.

"Zoro-bro, how ya feeling?" he asked. Zoro shrugged.

"Hungry," he replied, causing Franky to laugh loudly. The shipwright took out a box from behind his back and handed it to Zoro.

"Usopp and I made these," he explained once Zoro opened the box. There were two silver rings with neat designs. "Usopp's the one to think of the carvings. Creative fellow."

Zoro couldn't help but smile before closing the box and hiding it in his haramaki.

"Thanks, Franky," he said. "We'll treasure them."

**_A/N: Haramaki is his green waistband in case you didn't know._**

* * *

As soon as the clock ticked 12, the crew was ready to start the ceremony. Robin wore her everyday clothes, as was Zoro, but their hairdos were slightly fancier than usual. That should please everyone enough, they thought. The stood across from each other on the deck with Sanji standing irritably in between. Why they chose him to be the one to declare them husband and wife, no one knows.

"The rings, idiot," Sanji whispered. Zoro reached in his haramaki, but failed to find the box. A feeling of dread washed over him.

"Shit," he whispered.

"No way…Zoro, are you serious?!" Nami yelled from where she stood near Robin. The archaeologist simply chuckled, for she didn't know there _were_ rings to begin with.

"SHUT UP! I probably dropped the box when this damn cook forced me into the bathroom and poured a dozen jars of gel on my hair," Zoro replied, scanning the deck briefly.

"_Excuse_ me for giving a crap about your looks," Sanji replied. With that, a fight broke between the two.

"USOPP! ARE YOU OKAY?!" Chopper wailed, shaking the sniper by his shoulders. He had suddenly gone unconscious. The clear print of a shoe was stamped on his cheek.

"Oi, Sanji-bro! Be more careful with your kicking! You knocked out long-nose with one of your shoes!" Franky scolded. Luffy came out of the kitchen with a mouth covered in sauce and a blown-up stomach.

"Great food, Sanji!" he cried out, getting the attention of everyone on deck, minus the knocked out Usopp.

The cook whirled around and gave his captain a piercing glare. "Luffy… What's that on your mouth?"

"Barbeque sauce, duhh."

Sanji threw a kick so hard his remaining shoe flew off and hit Luffy in the nose.

"I HAD ONE REQUEST! ONE REQUEST, DAMMIT! FOR YOU TO KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF THE MAIN DISH!" the cook yelled.

"But it smelled so good…" Luffy muttered. Out of the blue, there was an unnaturally cold breeze. Everyone turned their attention towards the source of it and, were more than a little shocked to find Aokiji riding his bike on a road of ice right next to the Sunny.

"Aokiji?" Robin raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"The heck is ice-man doing here?" Luffy asked, rubbing his now very red nose. Aokiji jumped onto the ship and flung his arms in a way that meant _I'm here!_

"Nico Robin needs a man to walk her down the aisle, am I right?" he asked. The crew gazed at him in puzzlement.

"First of all," Sanji began, walking towards Aokiji. "You're _late. _We're at the end of the ceremony. And second of all…"

"No one INVITED YOU!" he snapped. Nami got up and gave Sanji a few pats on his shoulder.

"Sanji-kun, you've been stressing yourself too much these days. I'll take over," she offered. Clearing her throat, she took out her climatact. She made sure she got everybody's attention by tapping it on the railing.

"Chopper, you go treat Usopp!" she ordered, pointing towards the infirmary.

"Sanji! We need a main dish, so please take care of that. Anything will do!"

"Franky! Entertain Luffy so he won't get in the way of Sanji's cooking!"

"Brook, I need you to guard the kitchen's door!"

"Zoro," she began, a disgusted look on her face. "YOU IRRESPONSIBLE BLOCKHEAD, GO FIND THOSE RINGS!"

She turned her attention to Robin and Aokiji. Her eyebrows knitted in frustration. "Eh…you two just…catch up or something. I need to redo my hair; it turned into a complete mess."

With that, everyone got to work. Aokiji walked towards Robin, who had been observing her crewmembers with interest.

"I would've never predicted this," he told her. "The infamous devil child getting married, that is."

"I wouldn't have either," she replied.

"Heeeh, so you like that guy? A man with crazy green hair that wears a waistband all the time and gets lost? Great taste, Nico Robin," he commented, kneeling against the railing. Robin tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She decided that she wasn't going to spend her time wondering how that man found out about the wedding, for she didn't need anything else added to her list of worries.

"A man with exceeding loyalty, who sticks to his morals, fights for his nakama and dream, and never loses sight of what's important," she said. She seemed to be staring at something. "Yes, that's him."

The former admiral followed her gaze until his eyes settled on Zoro, who was now, in complete irritation, looking for the rings in Nami's little tangerine grove. Apparently, the swordsman had felt more than one pair of eyes on him, yet he immediately looked at Robin. Aokiji observed the eye contact between the two and was quite sure he saw Zoro flash a smile at the devil child. Though as quick as it came, the swordsman was back to looking for the rings.

"I may be butting in business that I have no right to know of, but if I may ask," Aokiji said, snapping Robin out of her slight blanked out state. She looked over at him with an amused look.

"Did you, or did he propose?" he asked. The archaeologist was clearly surprised by his question. He certainly _was _butting in her private business. Even so, she didn't find it harmful to answer his question.

"None of us," she replied. The man cocked his head.

"Hmm? Is that so?"

"Indeed. In fact, it was quite unplanned."

* * *

**Wooooooooooooooosh! Going back in time…**

* * *

Zoro grabbed his weights and walking away from Robin, who had taken residence on the deck. She gently closed her book.

"Did I interrupt you?" she asked. Zoro looked back and shook his head.

"No."

The door of the men's quarters burst open and out came Chopper, heaving in and out in panic. He shut the door and, as if running way from something, dashed towards the two confused crewmates.

"Is something wrong?" Robin asked. The little doctor took a few moments to catch his breath before plopping onto the deck.

"Luffy occasionally gets these weird dreams and I end up being the food," he explained briefly. Zoro rolled his eyes.

"I've been there. The other day he bit my foot. Apparently I was one heck of a dish since it took more than an hour to get him off," he said, deciding to put down the weights. Robin found it funny and chuckled, but Chopper was utterly horrified.

"Heh, come on, I'm fine," Zoro reassured him.

"Yes, Chopper, this man is tough skinned," Robin said, in attempt to comfort the reindeer. Zoro slowly turned his head towards Robin.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Really, Zoro, you should work on your vocabulary. It's quite clear what I meant."

Zoro clenched his fist. "Criticizing my vocabulary, huh? Well I may not be the best at words, Robin, but at least I don't draw horrifically."

Robin raised an eyebrow. "Are you suggesting my drawings are ugly?"

"I'm not suggesting it, I'm stating a fact."

"G-guys, please stop," Chopper whispered, slightly nervous to get in between the two. Though the little doctor noticed something once he got a clear look of both their faces. They weren't angry, or offended. In fact, their eyes held enjoyment.

"You two are always frustrating each other like that…why?" Chopper asked, interrupting their on-going argument.

"I find it fun, Chopper," Robin admitted straightforwardly. Zoro refused to confess he found it slightly enjoyable as well.

"You two should get married!" Chopper squealed, confusing the two of them. However, neither of them answered. It made the little doctor tense in nervousness. He was about to open his mouth and apologize, because he was merely joking, since Usopp always made that kind of joke when Luffy and Nami bickered, but was stopped by a surprising reply.

"Okay," they both said. Chopper's eyes widened and he stumbled back.

"I...I was just...I WASN'T BEING-"

With that, Zoro picked up his weights and headed towards the crow's nest while Robin settled on her chair again. Though the reindeer didn't fail to notice the anxious and, could it be…slight excited aura they both let out after the incident.

* * *

**Wooooooooooooooooooosh! Back to the present.**

* * *

"Are you kidding me?" Aokiji asked in disbelief. "I was never the romantic type, but that was a very ridiculous way to decide to get married."

Robin smiled. "Is it, really?"

"I found it rather perfect."

"HALLELUJAH! HE FOUND THE RINGS!" Nami announced, holding the box up in pride.

"I'm more than half-way done with the main dish, Nami-swaan!" Sanji yelled from the kitchen, who was guarded by Brook.

"DID I HEAR THE WORD FOOD?!" Luffy piped out from under the deck.

"No, idiot. Geez, is that _all _you hear?" Nami snapped. Chopper dashed out of the infirmary in his human-form, carrying a still unconscious Usopp.

"He won't wake up! The hit was so hard it'll probably take another two hours for him to gain consciousness…" Chopper explained, his voice quivering. Franky and Luffy appeared onto the deck shortly after.

"Well I'm not waiting two hours to finish this ceremony," Nami said, looking at her log pose. "And I'm afraid the weather won't be as warm as it is now for very much longer. Just put him in a chair or something."

And so, that's what Chopper did. The ceremony began all over again. Since Aokiji had volunteered, he did indeed end up walking Robin to Zoro, who was flashing him glares the entire way.

"Gratz, Roronoa," he said before walking away.

"Ah…forgot to ask the first time. Do either of you have vows you'd like to say?" Sanji asked, more relaxed than before. With a smile, Robin took out a little paper from her skirt and handed it over to Zoro.

"I expect you to hang this in the crow's nest, _dear_," she whispered. The swordsman cringed at the word "dear", since he very well knew she said it in sarcasm. He unfolded the paper and, was happy to see a very badly drawn picture of Luffy biting his foot.

"Luffy's head looks gigantic, Robin," Zoro pointed out, a laugh escaping his throat despite himself.

"Oi, don't insult Robin-chan's drawing!" Sanji scolded. It was clear that Zoro didn't have a paper prepared, so they continued. Zoro took out the box and opened it. Each of them took a ring and wore it themselves.

"Amateurs! You're supposed to exchange the rings and put them on each other's fingers!" Nami criticized.

"Zoro-bro! Do it the way you're supposed to!" Franky yelled.

"Wait, so what are Zoro and Robin doing up there?" Luffy asked, receiving a chuckle from Brook, who kindly turned to his captain to explain.

"Who cares," Zoro replied.

"Now…you…two are pronounced…_husbandandwife_," Sanji said, passing the last three words quickly. With that, his eyebrow began to twitch.

"Nami-san…do I _have_ to say it?" Sanji asked.

"Yes, Sanji-kun."

With dread, the cook cleared his throat. "Damn...baka marimo…freakin-"

"_Sanji-kun_," Nami warned.

"You…may kiss the bride," Sanji finally said, immediately looking away. Zoro shot a flustered look towards Nami.

"Wait, what?!"

"I'm sorry?" Robin said. Even she was confused.

"Ehh…you know what? Forget it! You two clearly know nothing about a relationship, much less know how to act at your own wedding," the navigator shot out, giving up. However, Zoro felt obligated to do something for Robin in honor of this occasion. So, in a swift move, the swordsman embraced Robin in a hug, which took her completely by surprise.

"Whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaa," everyone mused, including Luffy, who had only just understood what they'd been doing. After a moment of trying to register what had happened, the archaeologist, with a smile, happily returned the hug.

"FOOD TIME!" Luffy bubbled, jumping off his chair and storming off to the kitchen. Soon, everyone was enjoying a very freshly-made crab dish.

Though…somewhere outside the kitchen, was a long-nosed young man, sitting alone in a chair.

He opened his eyes.

"Huh…what did I miss?"

**THE END 8D!**

* * *

I want to give **_Yours Truly Pride _**credit for the idea of giving Robin the quirk of having bad drawing skills. It was very random, but he was the one who came up with that ;D! [It's kinda hard to look at the word Pride the way I used to, Oneechan].

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS, AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A HAPPY DAY!

-Waves frantically- 83!

Dango


End file.
